Sexual Assault

Linfield Campus Safety feels that the issue of rape and date and/or acquaintance rape is one that needs frank and open discussion on all college campuses. To this end, and with the assistance of the Linfield College Office of Counseling Services, we have included on this web site some articles and advice which we hope is helpful to all persons concerned with the issues.

• Sexual Assault / Unwanted Sexual Contact
• Date Rape / Acquaintance Rape
• Protecting Against Acquaintance Rape
• Warning Signs Of An Abusive personality
• Resisting Acquaintance Rape
• Real Men Don't Rape
• What You Should Do
• Women's Safety Tips
• More Warning Signs of Date Rape and Abuse

Sexual Assault / Unwanted Sexual Contact 

As defined in the Linfield Student Handbook, unwanted sexual contact is an offense committed when a member of the Linfield community subjects another person to sexual contact without having first obtained explicit consent or when he or she knows or should have known the person was incapable of consent by reason of mental disorder, mental incapacitation, or physical helplessness; and when a reasonable person would know that such contact would cause emotional distress.

Definitions

Consent: According to this definition, consent must be clearly communicated and non-coerced. Threats, implied threats and actual force may not be utilized in order to obtain consent.

Sexual Contact: Touching of genitalia, anus, buttocks or breasts of a person or causing such person to touch the genitalia, anus, buttocks or breasts of another.

Mental Incapacitation: Means that a person is incapable of appraising or controlling one's own or the other's conduct at the time of the alleged offense due to the use of alcohol or other substances or because of an act committed upon the person without his/her consent.

Sexual Assault/Unwanted Sexual Contact: Sexual contact without consent or ability to give consent.

Rape: Penetration by another without consent or ability to give consent. (See Student Handbook for complete definitions)

Sexual Assault is a crime as well as a violation of school policy. Assaults may be reported to the school and/or to the police. The victim of an assault always has a choice about whether to pursue the matter further or not, even after reporting.

One of the most common forms of sexual assault is Acquaintance Rape.

Date Rape / Acquaintance Rape

What is Acquaintance Rape?

Acquaintance rape occurs when one individual forces, coerces or manipulates another individual he or she knows to have sexual intercourse against the other's will and without consent. It is one of the most common types of sexual assault and one of the least understood.

• It is rape, even if:
• Your attacker is an acquaintance, date, good friend or spouse.
• You engaged in sexual touching and kissing, but then were forced to have sex against your will.
• You have had sex with that person before, but this time said no.
• You froze and did not or could not say no or were unable to fight back physically.
• There was no weapon involved.
  
   
• If you have been sexually assaulted, you are not to blame, even if:
• You were drinking or using drugs. Being high does not give another the right to assault you.
• You were wearing clothes that others may see as seductive. Remember, rape is an act of violence, not sexual gratification.
• You have been sexually intimate with that person or with others. Everyone has the right to decide when she or he wants to be sexual.
• You were in the assailant's room, apartment, or car.

Precautions

There are actions you can take to reduce the risk of being involved in acquaintance rape. While there are no foolproof methods, the following are some useful suggestions:

Communicate your limits clearly. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him or her early and firmly. Say "No" when you mean "No."

Be assertive. Others often interpret passive behavior as permission. It's your body and no one has the right to force you to do anything you don't want to do. Don't worry about being "polite" if someone is not respecting your wishes. Being assertive can be difficult and may require training and practice.

Be alert. Alcohol and drugs can impair your judgment and ability to make responsible decisions, and you may end up in an undesirable situation. Always have a plan to get yourself home.

Trust your intuition. If you sense danger or you're feeling nervous about someone else's behavior, it's best to remove yourself from that situation immediately.

Protecting Against Acquaintance Rape

MEN:

• Remember that date rape is a crime. It is never acceptable to use force in sexual situations, no matter what the circumstances.
• Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what the woman is saying. If you feel she is not being direct or is giving you a "mixed message," ask for a clarification.
• Don't fall for the common stereotype that when a woman says "No" she really means "Yes." "No" means "No." If a woman says "No" to sexual contact, believe her and stop.
• Don't make assumptions about a woman's behavior. Don't automatically assume that a woman wants to have sex just because she drinks heavily, dresses provocatively, or agrees to go to your room. Don't assume that just because a woman has had sex with you previously she is willing to have sex with you again. Also don't assume that just because a woman consents to kissing or other sexual intimacies she is willing to have sexual intercourse.
• Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is rape. If you have sex with a woman who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying "No," or unaware of what is happening around her, you may be guilty of rape.
• Be especially careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to participate in violent or criminal acts.
• "Get involved" if you believe someone is at risk. If you see a woman in trouble at a party or a male friend using force or pressuring a woman, don't be afraid to intervene. You may save the woman from the trauma of sexual assault and your friend from the ordeal of criminal prosecution.

Both men and women should be especially careful in situations involving the use of alcohol or drugs. Alcohol and drugs can interfere with your ability to assess situations and to communicate effectively. However, alcohol is not a legal defense for use by an assailant.


WOMEN:

• Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say "No"" to any unwanted sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the man to respect your feeling
• Communicate your limits firmly and directly. If you say "No," say it like you mean it. Don't give mixed messages. Back up your words with a firm tone of voice and clear body language
• Don't rely on "ESP" to get your message across. Don't assume that your date will automatically know how you feel, or will eventually "get the message" without your having to tell him.
• Remember that some men think that drinking heavily, dressing provocatively, or going to a man's room indicates a willingness to have sex. Be especially careful to communicate your limits and intentions clearly in such situations.
• Listen to your gut feelings. If you feel uncomfortable or think you may be at risk, leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place.
• Don't be afraid to "make waves" if you feel threatened. If you feel you are being pressured or coerced into sexual activity against your will, don't hesitate to state your feelings and get out of the situation. Better a few minutes of social awkwardness or embarrassment than the trauma of sexual assault.

On Consent

It's difficult to talk about sex, even as we engage in sexual activity. Unfortunately, both men and women are socialized to believe certain things about the other, with disastrous results. One belief is that sexual foreplay implies consent to engage in intercourse or other forms of sex. But if a person -- male or female -- has not explicitly said, "Yes, I want to do this," it is wrong to assume consent has been given. Thus, you may be presumed to have committed sexual assault.

Regardless of your mental state, whether or not anyone involved has been drinking or using drugs, or you simply don't want to hear what the other person is saying, sexual intercourse forced upon another without their consent, is rape. When you aren't sure, ASK. If the answer is not clear, remember that ambivalence is an answer, too. It usually means, "I'm not ready,yet, even if I might want to one day." It's OK to talk about that. Err on the side of caution. When consent is not clear, DON'T.

15 Reasons To Leave Your Lover: Warning Signs Of An Abusive Personality

Something's just not right in your relationship, and you can't put your finger on it. So here's some help. If your mate is displaying a combination of these behaviors, than you may have a potential batterer on your hands.

A push for quick involvement:
Comes on very strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser pressures the woman for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

Jealousy:
Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

Controlling:
Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

Unrealistic expectations:
Expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need.

Isolation:
Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car to try to prevent you from holding a job.

Blames others for problems and mistakes:
The boss, you --- it's always someone else's fault if anything goes wrong.

Makes everyone else responsible for his feelings:
The abuser says, "You make me angry," or, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you." Less obvious is the claim: "You make me happy."

Hypersensitivity:
Is easily insulted, claiming that his feelings are hurt when he is really mad. He'll rant about the injustice of things that are just part of life.

Cruelty to animals and to children:
Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3 year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

"Playful" use of force during sex:
Enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will during sex; says he finds the idea of rape exciting.

Verbal abuse:
Constantly criticizes you or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you up with verbal abuse.

Rigid sex roles:
Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.

Sudden mood swings:
Switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.

Past battering:
Admits hitting women in the past but says they made him do it or the situation brought it on.

Threats of violence:
Makes statements like, "I'll break your neck" or "I'll kill you," and then dismisses them away with, "Everybody talks that way" or "I didn't really mean it." If he has come this far, it is time to get help, or get out.

This was adapted from "Signs to Look for in a Battering Personality" from the Project for Victims of Family Violence, Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Resisting Acquaintance Rape

The Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women

There are various theories about acquaintance rape resistance strategies. One widely accepted view was developed by By Bateman of Alternatives to Fear in Seattle, WA. She describes three stages in this kind of rape:

Stage 1: Intrusion

In this stage, a person needs to be able to recognize intrusion and effectively communicate that it is unacceptable. Be specific about what the offensive behavior is, clear that it is not welcome, and definite that it must stop. This doesn't rule out courteous behavior. Yet, it is a good idea to avoid apology or humor, as either might undermine the message.


Stage 2: Desensitization

In this stage, the first task is to resist desensitization by not "getting used to" sexually coercive behavior. It can be difficult to deal with the negative reactions as we tell abusive men to stop. Consider enlisting the aid of a buddy with whom to discuss such interactions; she can praise your successes and help you deal with any negative reactions.

The second task is to identify the men who get clear communication, possibly repeatedly, and choose to ignore it. There can be no question now regarding their motives. These are the ones to consider potentially dangerous. Consider whether you want them in your life at all, if you have a choice in the matter. If they are hard to avoid because they are relatives, neighbors, co-workers, etc., make plans to avoid isolation with them.


Stage 3: Isolation

To avoid isolation with a potentially dangerous man, look at the ways you interact with him in the course of everyday life. Refuse to accept rides with him, make sure that you do not work late when he does, line up allies who will join you if it looks like he is maneuvering you to isolation.

Often sexually aggressive men are harassing a number of women in the same circle. When we do not talk to each other, we are isolated in another way. Sharing information about your experience with such a man can help create allies, which can be very important in the case of an attempted rape, or in a formal sexual harassment complaint at work or school.

REAL MEN DON'T RAPE

Men, if you have any doubts about what your partner wants, STOP, ASK, CLARIFY.

Your desires may be beyond your control but your actions are within your control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.

• Do not assume her desire for affection is the same as a desire for intercourse.
• Not having sex or not "scoring" does not mean you are not a "real man." It is OK not to "score."
• A woman who turns you down for sex is not necessarily rejecting you as a person; she is expressing her decision not to participate in a single act at that time.
• No one asks to be raped. No matter how a woman behaves she does not deserve to have her body used in ways she does not want.
• "No" means no. If you do not accept a woman's "no" you might risk raping someone whom you thought meant yes."
• Taking sexual advantage of a person who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent (for example drunk) is rape. If a woman has had too much to drink and has passed out or is not in control of herself, having sex with her is rape.
• The fact that you were intoxicated is not legal defense to rape. You are responsible for your actions whether you are sober or not.
• Be aware that a man's size and physical presence can be intimidating to women.
• Many victims report that the fear they felt based on the man's size and presence was the reason why they did not fight back or struggle.

What Should You Do If Someone Tries to
Force Sexual Activity on You?

• Stay calm and think. Figure out what your options are and how safe it is to resist.
• Say "no" strongly. Do not smile; do not act friendly or polite.
• Say something like "Stop-it, this is rape." This might shock the rapist into stopping.
• Assess the situation. Figure out how you can escape. Are there any other people around?
• Look for an escape route. If you can figure out a way to distract him you may be able to escape.
• Act quickly if possible. The longer you stay in the situation the fewer your options.

Ask yourself if it is safe to resist. This is a critical question. Women who fight back initially, who hit and scream, have a much higher chance of avoiding the successful completion of an assault than women who plead or try to talk their way out of the situation. Nevertheless resistance will depend on the main question: is he armed?

If the man is UNARMED, then you have many options including:

• Yelling as loudly as you can. Noise attracts attention and can startle your attacker.
• Fight back physically, punch him in the Adam's apple, poke your finger in his eye, hit him with a lamp or other item, or kick him. Fight so that you can escape, attacking eyes, nose, throat, groin, yelling as loud as you can. Resistance may discourage the attacker or convince him that it is too much trouble to continue. Resist only as long as it is safe to do so. If resistance is dangerous, stop.

Passive Strategies

• Use intimidation (lie; tell him your male roommate is on the way home;
• Tell him you have an STD -- herpes, AIDS, etc.).
• Try to talk him out of it -- try to appeal to his humanity, his sense of decency.
• Gain his confidence so that he might let his guard down and you can escape
• Try to get him to see you as an individual person. Make him aware of the effect he is having on you.
• Tell him that he is hurting you. Pretend to faint, throw up, act crazy.

If the man is ARMED, then:

• Try to talk him out of it.
• Try passive strategies*

*Passive strategies depend on the assailant's reaction; in active physical resistance, you are disabling your attacker in order to escape.

Your options are obviously a lot more limited when the man is armed with a weapon. In those situations you are taking your life in your hands if you decide to fight back. It may be possible to run away, if he is distracted, but only do this if you are reasonably sure you can get away.

Remember: submitting to rape because it seems to be the only viable option is a form of self-defense.

Women`s Safety Tips

• 
  This provides tips on things to keep in mind and how to best protect yourself should a problem arise.

USE COMMON SENSE

• Try to leave clubs, community centers, and/or parties with people - preferably friends
• If you leave with someone you've just met, introduce him or her to a friend or even the bartender.
• Make sure that person knows you`ve told other people you`re leaving together.
• If you`re unsure about leaving with someone ............. DON'T
• When at known establishments, be alert and be aware of your surroundings. Don`t assume you`re in a safe place.
• Walk on well lit streets where there are people and traffic
• Avoid shrubbery or doorways that might hide an attacker
• Give yourself permission to be "impolite" or "over cautious"
• You don`t have to talk to strangers who approach you
• Be aware of who is behind you, cross the street or let them pass you

TIPS FOR SAFETY

• Attackers expect a passive victim. Carry a whistle in your pocket
• While cruising carry as little money as possible, no jewelry and only identification which does not have your address
• If you feel unsafe, trust your instincts and act accordingly or leave!
• If you see someone being hassled - help them or call for help
• Take a self-defense course and practice with a friend

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE ASSAULTED Call police as soon as possible - DIAL 911 - tell them that you have been assaulted.

If your keys are stolen with identification:

• don`t return home alone
• if you have a roommate, call home and tell him or her;
• replace your locks

Seek medical help if necessary

Have any police officer you speak with provide you with his or her name, badge number and your file number

Don`t be ashamed-ask a friend to be with you as soon as possible

Try to detail on paper a description of the attackers and the incident

Seek help.

Call COUNSELING SERVICES at Linfield extension 2562 which can help you with a referral to:

* counseling at the College Counseling Center or a referral for counseling in the community
* legal advice.
* confidential or anonymous documenting of the assault.

All information is treated in a confidential manner.

Consider asking that charges be laid if your attacker is caught. HELP is available by contacting one of the following groups:

Linfield Counseling Office...................883-2562
(Monday - Friday, 8:00 - 5:00)

Rape Victim Assistance......................472-9371
(ask for Rape Victim Assistant on duty)

Crime Victim Assistance (8:00 - 5:00).....883-7510
(includes sexual assault) (after 5:00) .......883-6500

Henderson House .............................472-1503

You may also contact one of the Counseling Services trained Sexual Assault Advisor

WHAT YOU CAN DO AND VULNERABLE AREAS ON YOUR ATTACKER`S BODY

• Scream & Shout
• Call for help by shouting "FIRE!"
• Blow your whistle
• Box the ears or punch the temple
• Poke the hollow of the throat with fingers, thumb, cane or umbrella
• Jab at solar-plexus with umbrella, cane or elbow
• Snap knee into groin, or grab, twist & pull
• Keep kicks aimed low
• Stomp on the top of the foot with your heel
• Grab his hair and double him over; strike the back of his neck with your fist or elbow
• Tense your fingers and bend them slightly; jab straight into the eyes
• Slam palm of hand or fist up under the nose; push in and up at the same time
• Kick knee cap
• If grabbed from rear, kick to the knee, scrape the shin, and stomp the instep with your heel

WARNING SIGNS OF DATE RAPE & ABUSE

PAY ATTENTION TO CUES WHEN YOU ARE GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE

The following is a list of signs and cues exhibited by persons who have abused and raped women acquaintances :

1. Emotionally abuses you (insults, belittling comments, ignoring you, acting sulky or angry when you initiate an action or idea).
2. Tells you who you may be friends with, how you should dress, or tries to control other elements of your life or relationship.
3. Talks negatively about women in general.
4. Gets jealous when there is no reason.
5. Drinks heavily, uses drugs, or tries to get you drunk.
6. Berates you for not wanting to get drunk, get high, have sex, or go with him to an isolated or personal place.
7. Refuses to let you share any of the expenses of a date and gets angry when you offer to pay.
8. Is physically violent to you or others, even if it's "just" grabbing and pushing to get his way.
9. Acts in an intimidating way toward you by invading your "personal space" (sits too close, speaks as if he knows you much better than he does, touches you when you tell him not to).
10. Is unable to handle sexual and emotional frustrations without becoming angry.
11. Does not view you as an equal--because he's older or sees himself as smarter or socially superior.
12. Thinks poorly of himself and guards his masculinity by acting tough.
13. Goes through extreme highs and lows, is kind one minute and cruel the next.
14. Is angry and threatening to the extent that you have changed your life so as not to anger him.

Many thanks to Heather MacFadyen for permission to use some of the extensive materials she has on this subject.

Linfield Campus Safety
Phone Number – (503) 883-SAFE (7233)
Linfield Extension – x7233
McMinnville Police Department
Emergency Number (From Campus) - 9-911
Non-Emergency Number - (503) 434-7307

E-mail to Campus Safety Department: security@linfield.edu