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Intimate Partner Violence

Relationships fall subject to the same legal and personal consequences as marital relationships.
Violence between individuals that are roommates is classified as Domestic Violence.
Violence between individuals that are in a dating relationship is classified as Intimate Partner Violence. (Even if they do not live together.)

Many violent relationships display warning signs as early as the dating stage, even though both parties are still showing their best sides to each other. Please take a few minutes to learn what some of these flags are:

Dating Violence: Early Warning Signs

Extreme Jealousy: Everyone gets jealous sometimes; the key word is "extreme." Signs of extreme jealousy are when your partner gets mad if you talk to other people, have good friends, or express warm feelings for anyone else.

Possessiveness: This becomes a danger sign when someone treats you as if you are a belonging. The possessive person will not want you to share your time or give your attention to anyone else.
Gender Role Stereotypes: Exaggerated gender roles, especially concerning teen sexuality, are a warning sign. Both males and females frequently act out their gender differences that reflect stereotypical notions of male dominance and female passivity.

Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem may say, "I'm nothing without you," or "You are my world."

Unpredictable Mood Swings: Dramatic shift from being jealous, controlling or angry to being sweet, charming and loving is another danger sign.

Alcohol and Drug Use: Many of the reported violent episodes in dating relationships are carried out when one or both partners have been drinking or doing drugs. Alcohol and drug use lower a person's self-control but are not the direct cause of violence.

Explosive Anger: Even if you have never seen someone being aggressive toward another person, watch out for people who seem to get too angry.

Isolates You: A person who isolates you from having any friends, or even from spending time with your family, is a person who may become violent.

Five Things to Say to a Victim of Intimate Partner Violence

  1. I am afraid for your safety/life.
  2. I am afraid for your children's (or loved one's) safety/lives.
  3. It will only get worse.
  4. You deserve better
  5. I will be there for you when and if you ever need me.

Where to Find Help

  • Police Emergency - 911
  • Linfield College Counseling Office – Peterson 319 - (503) 413-7873