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Justin Bieber seeks too much attention, again

During the past years, Tiwtter, Instagram and YouTube have exploded in the cyber world. People constantly post tweets about what they are eating, who they are hanging out with or photos of their cute puppy.
All of which, people seem to think that their peers actually care about.
Not only can you connect with your friends on these networking sites, you can also connect with celebrities.
Almost everyone I know follows the big ones: Barack Obama, Rihanna, Jenna Marbles and our good ole‘ pop start from Canada…Justin Bieber.
Even though I participate on such social networks, I try to stay clear of such people because, well, they drive me crazy.
Celebrities sometimes tend to turn into that one annoying friend from Facebook who either posts passive aggressive dramatic posts all the time or the one who feels the need to post everything about every minute of their day.
We all know who those people are and deep down inside we kind of hate them. Justin Bieber is one of these people.
Let’s start with his tweets. In case you did not know from his multiple posts, the Biebs turned 19 on March 3.
Let me just quote the man himself, “my birthday is on friday :) ” and “My birthday is tomorrow.” Wow, look at him all grown up! So mature!
It’s too bad his tweets lack any amount of correct grammar or punctuation.
Also, what the hell do you expect me to do with a tweet like that?
Do you want me to send you a Lamborghini or something?
A Rolex?
Not going to happen…ever.
Next up is Instagram. We are a self-centered society so it surprises no one that Justin Bieber feels the need to constantly post pictures of himself making the exact same face.
We see his face plastered all across tabloids telling us whether he is dating Selena Gomez or Kim Kardashian. We don’t need to see your face anymore.
And a little tip, duck lips don’t look good on girls, and they don’t look good on you guys either.
Oh and also, stop trying to dress “fresh to death.” You look silly and you should consider pulling up your pants.
Justin Bieber’s annoying, constant need for attention has really brought me to my last nerve.
Just because you are a celebrity does not mean that you need to shove your life down our throats. People magazine already does that, thank you very much.
Just calm down a bit. Be the user you want to follow.

Kate Straube
Photo editor
Kate Straube can be reached at linfieldreviewphotos@gmail.com.

Newest television sequel might disappoint its fans

As children, many of us sat in front of our televisions every day to catch the new episode of “Boy Meets World.” This popular show followed Cory Matthews and his friends as they grew from preteens into adults, setting foot into the real world, hence the title.

In November 2012, the Disney Channel revealed that it was in the process of creating a sequel to this once popular sitcom titled “Girl Meets World.”

The show will follow Cory and Topanga’s daughter, Riley Matthews, as she goes on the same journey that many are familiar with.

This program is a great idea to show the new generation a piece of our childhood that many of us still cherish.

In fact, characters Cory and Topanga have been the ideal model  for relationships since the show first aired. These characters are near and dear to many people’s hearts.

However, the previous lack of success for sequel sitcoms does not play in the show’s favor.

The original run of “Boy Meets World” was successful, running for seven seasons, ending in 2000. “Girl Meets World” could possibly be a success itself but the network may have waited too long to decide to develop it.

The Disney Channel has tried multiple spinoffs of their shows. “Suite Life of Zack and Cody” became “Zack and Cody on Deck.” “That’s So Raven” followed Raven’s brother Cory in “Cory in the House.” “Sonny with a Chance” changed to “So Random.” All of these spinoffs did not show as much success as their precursors.

This show might be doomed to that same fate.

The storyline is something everyone can connect to and viewers from all ages can watch it, including the viewers who watched the original show.

However, not many of them continue to watch the Disney Channel. Maybe the network should consider moving it to ABC Family because it would be on a station that has programs the whole family could watch.

Also, many favorite characters will not be rejoining the cast, such as Rider Strong, who played Shawn, and Will Friedle, who played Eric.

These additional characters made the show memorable to our generation, and without them, it’s just plain old Cory and Topanga.

There are supposed to be characters in the sequel that relate to the previous characters of the original show, but it won’t be the same.

“Girl Meets World” has the potential to be a show that will connect our generation with the youth of today, but Disney has waited too long to bring it back. With its current track record of sequels this show may have a quick end before it even begins.

Disney should consider moving the show to a different channel, or putting some of the original elements back in that will allow our generation to still connect with it. Otherwise, this Disney sequel will flop just like the many before it.

Ivanna Tucker

Sports editor
Ivanna Tucker can be reached at linfieldreviewsports@gmail.com.

Comedian shares her strange life with drunken audience

Comedian Sabrina Jalees

Comedian Sabrina Jalees makes fun of her Pakistani father during her performance in Ice Auditorium on April 10. Paoline-Anne Abulencia/Senior photographer .

Comedian Sabrina Jalees performed in Ice Auditorium on April 10. The Linfield Activities Board sponsored the show, which resulted in mixed reviews from the audience.
“The comedian’s jokes were funny, but it was hard to pay attention to her because there were many people in the audience being disruptive and disrespectful,” sophomore Samantha McCarty said.
However, of all Jalees’ jokes, McCarty said the mustache jokes were her favorite.
“There were annoying drunk people who took away from the humor,” sophomore Kyel Lambert said. “[Jalees] made a lot of jokes about her heritage, which everyone seemed to laugh about.”
Sophomore Melany Krill said she went to the comedian with a few friends.
“Some of her jokes were random, and I thought the way she handled the crowd’s heckling almost seemed to encourage it,” Krill said.
Senior LAB Special Events Chair Corinne Swift explained the joke — Jalees explained that when she was growing up her mom told her that kids made fun of her mustache because they were jealous.
Jalees made her first appearance on a Canada-based, international stand-up comedy chain called Yuk Yuks, according to the Giggles Comedy Agency Web site.
Jalees has also performed at the Just For Laughs Festival, on a Canadian television special called “Comedy Now” and in a Lifetime movie titled “Mom at 16.”
She is also part of a comedy tour called Allah Made Me Funny.
For more information, visit Jalees’ Web site, www.sabrinajalees.com, or go to her MySpace page, www.myspace.com/sabrinajalees.

Samantha Johnson
Sports reporter Samantha Johnson can be reached at linfieldreviewsports@gmail.com

Missing the old fantasy

The newest “Final Fantasy” release traps players in a pretty box with its simplistically linear game play.

The latest installment of the epic “Final Fantasy” video game saga leaves a stale, acrid taste in your mouth that no amount of breathtakingly luscious graphics will expunge.
“Final Fantasy XIII,” the newest release from Square Enix’s revolutionary role-playing video games, forgoes the series’ traditional open-endedness for a lackluster, mind-numbing linear style of game play. For the first 20 hours or so of play, the player is subjected to a tunnel-like endeavor: You know exactly where you’re going at all times.
While some players will become enamored quite quickly, frequent “Final Fantasy” gamers will feel trapped in this prison-like creation. (In all fairness, after said 20-hour mark, the prison does expand, reminiscent of games in years past.)
The problem with this linear style is that the “Final Fantasy” series has always had a sense of adventure in the way you could explore within the game. “Final Fantasy X,” for instance, harbored a multitude of hidden locations, mini-games and side quests. A single, thorough run-through could take well more than 50 hours. “Final Fantasy VII” was also a powerhouse that stole your life; the overworld was so expansive you could easily get lost looking for your next pre-rendered cutscene.
On top of that, FFXIII restricts character growth to a painstakingly sluggish pace for the majority of the game, allowing access to certain levels only at specific times.
That’s not to say the game doesn’t possess merit, though.
What’s a “Final Fantasy” game if it doesn’t look good? Played on the Playstation 3, FFXIII has a visual and aural superiority unmatched by anything else on the market. It’s a rare moment when you aren’t blessed with a vibrancy that will leave you drooling. The CGI cutscenes leave you in wonder as they progress through the story line; they’re so beautiful you can’t help but be awed.
The story line is also realistic and compelling, drawing you in with the serious plot and making you laugh with some of the more hilarious antics.
The innovative new battle system coalesces intuition and quick reaction times in a way not seen before in the series. FFXIII uses an active time battle system (a staple for most of the series), but it works differently, using a command-based core. Players have the ability to stack commands even when the ATB charge is filling up. Breaking from tradition, the game does not use MP (magic points), but cost points in their place for certain actions.
Part of the new battle system includes the “Stagger State,” which is activated after the enemy has been subjected to a chain combo for a certain period of time. When this happens, the enemy loses resistance and become susceptible to high amounts of damage. The state does eventually disappear, requiring the player to start building a chain again.
Another plus is the score, which, while not composed by longtime “Final Fantasy” composer Nobuo Uematsu, leaves your heart pumping and your eyes tearing up. The addition of “My Hands” by Leona Lewis for the theme song was a poignant choice.
Other new features include the Crystarium, the game’s leveling system; roles and paradigms, which dictate what characters are capable of; and eidolons (the summons feature for this game), which play a major role in FFXIII. For more information about specifics, visit www.finalfantasyxiii.com.
This game would be better as a rental ($60 is a bit much for pretty pictures), but you might not have the time to complete it in five days.
So, in essence, yes, the game has its perks, but still, no matter how pretty the package is, it’s what’s inside that matters. “Final Fantasy XIII” is mostly fluff, even if it doesn’t show.

Dominic Baez
Editor-in-chief Dominic Baez can be reached at linfieldrevieweditor@gmail.com

Video and photo courtesy of Square Enix

Local artists diversify music scene

Lizzie Martinez

Senior reporter

Music at Linfield is going local. The Seattle-based Blue Scholars kicked off this year’s with a rousing concert in the Oak Grove on Sept. 5. The Portland band Weinland followed up the successful act with an indoor jam Sept. 11.

From professional to student concerts, the theme for the year is keeping it local.

“Blue Scholars set the tone,” senior Kasey Richter, ASLC vice president of programming, said. “Outdoor concerts are challenging because you need a lot of people to make it a great event, but it was very well-attended.”

Richter estimated 400 people gathered on the lawn to enjoy the hip-hop beats of the local duo. Stretching across the lawn, the students danced to the rhythm of the band throughout the concert.

“I’d never heard of [Blue Scholars], but it was a good time,” senior Julia Barrett said. “I’d like to see more outdoor concerts.”

The duo was the first of four professional bands to come to Linfield this semester as part of the once-a-month professional Cat Cabs. As the Linfield Activities Board Musical Events Chair, senior Renata Tirta has been working since last semester to find new bands to play at Linfield. Drawing from college conferences and local talent around Portland, Tirta has lined up a diverse fall schedule.

On Sept. 11, the Portland band Weinland entertained audiences Fred Meyer Lounge with their folk-rock sound. On Oct. 9, solo artist Kristin Diable will perform.

“We’re going for a different sound,” Richter said. “Not the usual Jack Johnson.”

This year, Tirta is focusing on inviting local bands from the Pacific Northwest who will showcase a variety of sounds. Though the first concert was hip-hop, the next four months will be a mix of folk-rock, blues and more. She said she is trying to escape the pattern of only bringing in singer/songwriters who tend to fall in the same genre.

“Overall, I want to provide a variety of music that would appeal to the whole student body,” Tirta said. “I’m trying to bring in more bands that fuse different genres
together.”

Local music has its benefits. When students find a band or musician they enjoy, they also have the chance to attend other concerts in the Portland or Seattle areas.

Tirta also coordinates the weekly student Cat Cab performances. Coming performances will feature junior Joy Nelson, sophomore Patrick Stauffer and the improv club, Awkward Moose.

On Sept. 18, Nelson will perform a completely new set. Playing acoustic guitar and piano, she will debut a set of original songs she has written.

Nelson said she prefers to play original songs and draws her inspiration from interactions with friends, experiences and heartache. She encourages students to hear what their fellow students are producing and enjoy her music.

“[Cat Cab] is really one of the only midweek events,” Tirta said. “It’s a good way to relax.”

Several slots this semester and next semester are still available for performers. Freshmen and sophomores are particularly encouraged to apply, Tirta said. E-mail rtirta@linfield.edu for more information.

Because Tirta cannot accommodate every student’s preference in music, she is also trying to revive the practice of offering low-cost concert tickets through LAB.

“It’s a good way of providing opportunities for music not offered on campus,”
Tirta said.

Loss of words not a problem for ‘Wanted’

Kyle Anderson

For the Review

Whoever said that “actions speak louder than words” was clearly the driving force behind “Wanted,” a film profoundly based in pumping adrenaline and surreal movement. There is really little need for words in a film like this, one that tells its story through series of gunshots, car chases and lots of blood spilled on lots of pavement. “Wanted” takes place in a movie world where nothing is sacred unless Morgan Freeman says it is. Cops are no match for the cunning characters and justice is defined by Angelina Jolie’s extremely large lips. “Wanted” is a take-no-prisoners action flick that starts fast and never stops, letting the action do all the talking.

What little is said is spoken by Wesley Gibson (played by James McAvoy), a 21st Century anti-hero who’s amid an existential crisis and takes medication for his constant anxiety. His girlfriend is cheating on him with his best friend, he never knew his father, he works in a dead end job and he spends quite a bit of time googling himself, only to find that his search did not match any results. Wesley’s world gets turned upside down when he meets Fox (played by Angelina Jolie), who narrowly saves him from a shootout at Walgreens, of which he seems to be the focal point. He is then told that his late father was an assassin in their elite group of killers known as “The Fraternity,” and like his father, Wesley is able to do really cool things like curves bullets, control his own heart rate and take hits like a champ. This is all to Wesley’s surprise, and it is Fox’s mission to train him to follow in his father’s footsteps, avenging the man who killed him. Morgan Freeman plays the Fraternity’s leader who tells Wesley that their job is to control fate “killing one, saving a thousand.”

Even within the confines of the gratuitously violent action genre, “Wanted” is quite a lot to handle. The film opens with a bang and never looks back. It is filled with your clichés typical of a film like this, all knowing old man, wisecracking main character, sexy lady who is a total badass, and yet it finds some credibility by carving out some originality. The camera work is quite superb, some scenes even upping the ante on The Matrix-like style. Instead of having a score that utilizes only synthesizers and electric guitars, this film makes room for a great orchestral work that is surprisingly effective in such an action film. The chases are stunning, the colors are bright, the narration is quirky and funny, and the locations are out of this world. Oh yeah, and the fights are REALLY cool too.

“Wanted” takes some big risks with its cartoon-like storytelling, edgy action sequences on trains, and its liking for shocking the audience, (has Morgan Freeman ever said “mother fucker” on screen?) but the reward is substantial. The film does take itself a bit too seriously towards the end, but overall, “Wanted” is a fun, fast, and slick movie that doesn’t slow itself down with details, but instead favors kicking action into overdrive. Grade: B+

‘Express’ soars high

Ryan Gerdes

Graphic/ads designer

Fans of “Superbad,” “Knocked Up” and “40 Year Old Virgin:” A new assignment has been added to your jam-packed syllabus. Homework materials required: $7-$9, driver’s license and a pair of Depends. Really though, I suggest you take a few hours from your studies and see “Pineapple Express”.

Seth Rogan has written and acted in yet another film littered with crude jokes, foul language and enough marijuana to choke a horse.

Rogan’s character and his dealer, played by James Franco, witness a police officer and drug lord commit a murder and spend the length of the film running from the cops, all the while trying to clear their names. Rogan is his usual comical self; the real surprise is how Franco breaks from his trend of serious roles in order to play a stringy-haired pothead. He pulls it off well: It’s as if he was meant to play a stoner all along. Another surprise is the introduction of a new bulletproof actor, Danny McBride.

This unseemly comedic trio of motley nitwits create fantastic on-screen chemistry.

Although the film is made up of many crude and funny bits, the glue that holds it together is the underlying theme of growing up and accepting one’s age. I’m hoping, however, that you don’t just take my word for it. Grade: B

‘Mamma Mia’ drowns

Kyle Anderson

For the Review

I felt like Scrooge while watching “Mamma Mia!” It’s one of those films that looks like it was so much fun to make, and I’m sure that everyone involved with the project was confident that their enjoyment would float into the audience as well. Instead, I felt like the displeased kid at the party who everyone else tries to make smile. There’s so much fun and laughter on that beautiful Grecian island that “Mamma Mia!” is indeed a party; I just wasn’t invited.

Unlike the beautiful blue water around it, “Mamma Mia!” doesn’t flow well. The pace never slows down to give time to develop any characters or plotlines. The plot is the same as the stage show: girl plans wedding, girl invites her three possible dads to her wedding, girl’s mom freaks out and hilarity and singing ensues.

As a stage show, the story is already a bare-bones vehicle to get from one great ABBA song to another, but unlike the plot in the stage show, the film completely breaks down. The fact that the story is so dismembered makes the moral seem stupid.

Meryl Streep sings well and tries to act her way out of a limiting script while looking like she is having a great time. Amanda Seyfried is probably the most surprising cast member. She makes the annoyingly fickle Sophie a lot less annoyingly fickle. The men in the film, who are merely pillars that the women dance around, don’t shine like their female counterparts. This is particularly true for Pierce Brosnan whose attempt at singing is the basis for many of the film’s not-supposed-to-be-funny-but-I-laughed-anyway sequences.

It’s the songs that are truly the stars, and most of them are good and fun to watch performed. Phyllida Lloyd, who directed the stage version, infuses a lot of great energy and visuals into the musical sequences, which look amazing on location in Greece. While Lloyd does well with these scenes, it was probably a mistake to let her direct the film. The show, which was made for the millions and millions of people who loved ABBA, is a great piece of musical theater that is a good two-and-a half-hours of mindless fun. The film is a watered-down version. Sloppy direction and writing in the dialogue-centered scenes makes the film vapid and incomplete. While I’m sure Lloyd had an amazing time directing this movie, but she forgets that how the party looks might not be as important as how the party came to be, thus leaving cinema-goers still waiting for their invitations. Grade: C

‘Zohan’ misses cut

Amber McKenna

Editor in chief

From the beginning I didn’t want to see it, but the urge of a family member and the unfortunate situation of busy theaters on a Saturday night made it happen. I can tell you that from the start, “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan,” starring Adam Sandler, was a waste of time, production efforts and $9.

Sandler poses as Zohan Dvir, an Israeli government intelligence specialist who fakes his death. He comes to New York City in an effort to escape his war-plagued country and pursue his true passion: dressing hair in over-the-top ’80s styles.

The other “theme” of the movie is that the Zohan gets it on as much as a dog in heat and with the same reckless disregard for whom he does the deed with. Some other comedy veterans such as John Turturro, Lainie Kazan, Nick Swardson and Rob Schneider, make appearances as Zohan’s family, friends and enemies.

I will say this: The message the movie tries to get across is a good one. That is, in war there is no winner, and specifically in the case of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, it should end. However, middle-eastern stereotypes flourish and my once strong love for hummus has been put on hold. A strange cameo by singer Dave Matthews as a racist, redneck terrorist confirms that this movie was unnecessarily bad.

Shockingly, this movie was nominated for a Teen Choice Award. What the teens were thinking, I’m not quite sure. A friend of mine who is a hairdresser did enjoy this movie, but obviously the inside jokes of the stylist trade were lost on me.

There were a few good laughs to be had, but all in all I recommend not “messing” with the Zohan. I’m just glad I snuck into “Iron Man” afterward and got my $9 worth. Grade: D

‘Knight’ saves summer

Dominic Baez

Managing editor

How can it get any better than when the movie starts with a bank robbery by grown men, in clown masks no less? How about when everyone starts shooting each other, with the Joker himself being the mastermind behind this ingenious invasion? And to think, that is only the beginning of “The Dark Knight,” the newest addition to Christopher Nolan’s “Batman” series.

An abundance of talented actors starred in this rendition, including Christian Bale, who starred as the stoic Bruce Wayne; the late Heath Ledger, who, to be honest, stole the show with his performance as the deranged Joker; and Aaron Eckhart, who played new D.A. Harvey Dent,
Gotham’s White Knight.

The action only intensified as the movie progressed. The plot continued from its predecessor, “Batman Begins.” Thanks to the watchful eye of the masked vigilante, Gotham City’s crime syndicate now hides in terror, only to be more or less resurrected by the psychotic Joker. From that point on, the danger escalated to the point of near insanity, with the Joker implementing highly cruel and inventive methods of murder in order to cause chaos and mayhem.

From hair-raising car chases, multi-level building explosions and mind-boggling technological feats, “The Dark Knight” will only leave you wanting more. This is a must see for anyone who enjoys a deep plot and more action than one can handle. Grade: A