PDA sparks tension in college living
Dear Bailey, My roommate is constantly making out with her boyfriend in our room while I am there. I am extremely uncomfortable with it and concerned that
My roommate is constantly making out with her boyfriend in our room while I am there.
I am extremely uncomfortable with it and concerned that it will become a huge problem and escalate to intercourse while I’m in the room.
What should I do about it?
This seems to be a common complaint around campus. It is understandable that people, especially new couples with the newfound freedom of college, want to be around each other and intimate almost constantly.
It is, however, not OK for you to be put in an uncomfortable position because of it, especially when it’s in your living situation.
While it does make you uncomfortable, and them having sex or showing excessive PDA with you there is unfair to you (and basically really rude), you can’t prevent them from doing it at all. That would be unfair to your roommate when she lives there just as much as you.
Stand up for yourself. Tell your roommate that you are uncomfortable and not okay with the atmosphere they are creating. You live there too.
Be nice about it, of course. Talk to her when it’s just the two of you in the room or schedule a time when you can talk. Most likely, they just don’t realize that it bothers you.
One solution for you to suggest is a schedule for when you can leave the room available for them, maybe every couple of nights or a couple of times during some days.
You could go do homework at the library or hang out with other friends.
Let’s be realistic; not everything happens on a schedule. In these cases, they could let you know with a text message warning you of a last minute quick use of the room.
Even in apartments with multiple rooms, things can get uncomfortable.
If noise is an issue, privately let your roommate know that the walls are not sound proof.
Something definitely needs to be said and worked out between you and your roommate.
Everyone wants to have a good experience in college and dorms are already intrusive enough.
If your roommate refuses to compromise, inform your residence advisor.
Bailey can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.