It’s that time of year again, when everyone is racking their brains and rushing around to get gifts for people.
And if you’re like me, there is literally nothing worse than having to go to a crowded store to buy some bargain bin item to wrap up and give to a random family member who you’re not even Facebook friends with.
The holiday season always brings with it a few daunting questions, such as: “Who do I care enough about to fist fight a 13-year-old for the last Nintendo Wii for?”
The uncomplicated answer: close family and best friends.
The polite answer: everyone within your bloodline.
Why is it completely necessary to get an uninspired and usually poor quality gift for those family members that we only see once a year?
Wouldn’t it be more effective to save the money that you would have spent on a random cousin and instead use it for a fantastic gift to someone you actually care about?
Wouldn’t this save everyone the hassle of throwing out useless gifts like hemp candles and decorative boxes?
Just because it’s ‘tis the season of giving, it does not mean ‘tis the season of forgetting that I hate you.
If you do choose to listen to my mom and stop being a brat and get gifts for everyone you’ve ever met, another question arises.
What’s an appropriate gift for people you hardly know but share a slight biological connection with?
Is it acceptable just to email people Groupons for bikini waxes and frozen yogurt, or is that considered rude?
Or, if you decide to use your limited funds for those you care about, what’s the best way to get that someone special something special?
The Internet is always the way to go for the weak and antisocial shoppers like me (and probably you.)
First, Internet stalking is always a great way to start the gift hunt. Lots of people have Amazon wish-lists, and all you need to find is their email address.
And, who doesn’t drop unsubtle gift tips on social networking sites?
Sure, delivery fees are awful, but Internet shopping is a sure hell of a lot easier than finding a spot in the purgatory that is the mall parking lot.
You know what parents and guardians love?
Homemade things, but not poorly constructed macaroni picture frames because you’re in college and that stuff is not cute anymore.
There are dozens of sites to make photo books where you can pick photos and themes that will make your mother glad she didn’t drown you in the bathtub.
The most important thing to remember this holiday season is that everyone is going through the gifting drama.
So remember be kind when you unwrap your third pair of fuzzy socks.
Paige Jurgensen can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.