There is a baseball player named Mike Trout. He is the best player in the MLB. He is 21 years old and that makes me wonder what I am doing with my life. I’m almost 20, and I am sitting here on my couch.
Trout is the best player to come to the Majors in a long time. Yay for inferiority!
Although Trout is the best, I have news for you.
The best of this year is yet to come.
I am not talking about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Christmas.
This year, there was an amazing Super Bowl, a transcendent playoff performance by Lebron James, a Euro Cup victory for Spain (possibly the greatest International soccer side of all time) and an Olympics with a heavy British accent. Plus, Trout, Bryce Harper and Yoenis Cespedes set the baseball world ablaze.
Here are some more Trout facts. Did you know that Trout can single-handedly cure cancer and run around the world in one day?
Felix Baumgartner even concedes that Trout could skydive from space, not just the edge of space! You can’t tell me this isn’t true.
Oh, and how could I forget the best part about this year: the fantastic WNBA season. OK, I’ll be honest, I haven’t watched one minute of the WNBA season. But maybe it has been good? Can anyone tell me?
The real best part about this year is that the final two months of 2012 are saving the best for last.
We still have the World Series. Can the Cardinals win again? Will Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder lead the Tigers to victory, while setting the record for “heaviest 3-4 combo in history”?
Or, will the dapper gent Buster Posey and the Panda bring the Giants back from the brink of elimination?
The last third of the college football season approaches, and I know that local Oregon fans are having a season for the ages.
If the Beavers win the Civil War, what’s the over/under on the percentage of bandwagon Duck fans that jump off? 50 percent? 75 percent?
Speaking of college football, our Linfield team is number three in the nation. That’s right, number three.
Its season is far from over, and maybe it can work some magic to end the year. How neat would that be?
Our women’s soccer team is in a battle for first place and a playoff bid. The beautiful game is being played beautifully by beautiful Linfield ladies.
It is no surprise that our teams are doing well. Linfield sports are always stellar, sublime, sleek and other adjectives that begin with ‘S’ that I can’t think of currently.
No matter what happens, our teams are capping off what has been, so far, a magnificent year for sports, and the squeak of the basketball shoes are set to begin as well.
Trout would be impressed with our sports teams, and for the player that most represents the greatness of 2012, it just shows that our Linfield athletes are fitting the mold.
Let’s cheer them on and make sure they can see that we’re noticing.
Tyler Bradley can be reached at email@example.com.