Coming into college is a major life change. On top of school, money and other stressors, add relationships. It’s almost inevitable; this time in our lives will bring people that mean more to us than anyone else ever has.
College is about finding yourself, discovering what makes you tick and exploring your passions. So how do you balance relationships? Because it can definitely get dramatic.
I believe at our age, dating is crucial. Test the waters, date different varieties of people so you can find out what kind of person is right for you, and what kind of person is all wrong.
Then, of course, you might find that one person who you can tolerate for hours at a time and might even find yourself putting on decent clothes for.
I have a lot of relationship pet peeves. The first one is when couples aren’t honest with each other. Honesty is such a simple thing. So many conflicts can be avoided by just telling each other the truth.
If something is bothering you, tell them. If you are not happy, tell them. If you made a mistake, tell them. If they get mad, so what? The truth is so much better than a complicated, twisted lie. When you lie about something, it’s like a spider web. You have to remember so many details to keep your story straight. It’s much easier to just tell it how it is and deal with it.
The other person is not a mind reader, so be straightforward. And don’t play mind games, because no one likes those.
Another thing that bothers me is when one person is controlling. If you’re worried about your boyfriend or girlfriend being unfaithful, talk to him about it. Don’t whine and complain and tell him that he can’t hang out with other girls.
Insecurity is not attractive. Confidence, on the other hand, is. He or she is with you for a reason, so remember that.
Trust them in their intentions and let them do what they want and go where they please. If you know for a fact he or she isn’t being faithful, get out while you can.
We all need to remember that we are our own individuals and we cannot depend on another person for happiness. Ultimately, you are the only person who can make yourself happy.
While in the beginning, you may want to spend all of your time with the other person, it is important to take time for yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the love and the affection of it all, but in the end, being completely attached to someone else isn’t healthy.
One thing that I always tell people is if you are in a relationship, and you don’t feel right about it or you are questioning it, then it isn’t right for you. Now, if you’re just casually dating this doesn’t necessarily apply.
But if the other person is dead-set on forever and you can’t get that nagging feeling out of your head, you shouldn’t be with them.
There shouldn’t be a doubt in your mind with the person you’re going to spend forever with.
Don’t take relationships so seriously. Enjoy your college experience, and save the stress for schoolwork.
Kelsey Sutton/Copy chief
Kelsey can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org