The truth about orgasms

Dear Bailey,

How can I be sure I am having an orgasm?

~The Big “O”


Dear The Big “O,”

When I was younger, I remember having it described to me as an explosion.

When I finally had my first orgasm, that definitely wasn’t the case, and my reaction was, “That’s it?”

This doesn’t mean this is how it is for everybody. Orgasms can still be “mind-blowing” at times.

Experiencing orgasms is different for everyone and varies each time from smaller, fleeting sensations to more exhausting or intensely demanding body reactions.

There can be a warm sensation, numbness in some areas, toe curling or vibration of the legs or other parts of the body.

Sometimes people are quiet, while others may have an uncontrollable need to cry out. Generally, there is a feeling of release.

Men and women both have full-body responses, but they orgasm differently.

Women are able to orgasm more than once.

Men have more parts that are involved than women and commonly ejaculate when they have an orgasm.

Men can, however, orgasm without ejaculating.

Women also have the ability to have a similar ejaculation experience called squirting.

This can take a lot of concentration on her part that can be difficult to accomplish because it feels similar to relaxing to pee, and the woman needs to feel comfortable.

While it is easier for men to have an orgasm during intercourse, not all women are able to.

There is the mysterious G-spot that can cause some women to orgasm when stimulated.

This can be reached more easily in different positions, such as doggy style or raising the hips by placing a pillow under them.

Many women can also reach orgasm by stimulation of the clitoris.

This can be done with one or more fingers or orally.

When aroused, the clitoris becomes larger and firmer, making it easier to find under the hood at the top of the pubic area.

While in a relationship, or with a continuous sexual partner, you should not fake an orgasm to try to make the other person happy.

An orgasm is a form of sexual communication that means something is being done right.

Faking can lead to different expectations and your needs being unmet.

The best way to find out if you are having an orgasm or how you react when you have one is practice.

Yes, I do mean go play with yourself. Find a private setting and have fun. It may take a while, but it’s worth it.
Bailey can be reached at


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