I Fear For The Freshman

BurritoIt seems to me we have a crisis of epic proportions on our hands. Something so horrible, I’m not even sure I can type it without bursting into tears. There may come a time where people will speak of this day in sadness; for now, subdued whispers must occupy this moment of unparalleled urgency.

As many of you are aware of, I am speaking about Muchas Gracias. Not the restaurant itself, per se. But the lack of freshman affiliation with the famous Oregon burrito.

Now there was a time when a kind-hearted upperclassman would befriend an incoming student and teach him the ways of Linfield. The really important things to know about, like Cat Cabs and football games and to not mix liquor and wine together (I WISH I’d learned that freshman year). And, of course, Muchas Gracias. A small, podunk, dirty restaurant run by some of the friendliest people you’ll meet at 3 am. Open forever and serving Hispanic food that doesn’t resemble mush (Taco Bell/Dillin both can’t claim that), it’s been a staple of every Linfield student who’s hungry past midnight.

It is with sadness that I note that freshman don’t seem to be aware of this gloriousness yet. Most of the freshman I’ve spoken to are aware of Muchas, but haven’t been given an opportunity to indulge themselves yet. Considering it’s one of the most important rite of passage at Linfield, this needs to rectified.

Immediately. Colloquium advisors, take your freshman out this coming week. Peer advisors, workstudy students, all others who actually read this blog (so nobody?), come together and seek out students who haven’t truly experienced the unique state of being a giant burrito offers. Let them taste the joyous flavor of a thousand calorie pile of steak, fries, and more steak, wrapped in a flour tortilla bigger than your hand.

Soon, we will all be swimming in finals and there will be little time to enjoy one of the greatest gifts Linfield has to offer. There is still time. Break through the ignorant protests of all who refuse and guide them to something bigger than themselves. And remember that while it may be a big burrito, they still don’t accept credit cards for less than $5. Luckily it isn’t just about a burrito, it’s about bringing change into their lives.

Make a difference in a freshman’s college experience. Hey, it beats actually getting to know them, right?

Matt Olson, columnist
Matt Olson can be reached at linfieldreviewopinion@gmail.com.

5 Comments on I Fear For The Freshman

  1. I’m convinced. Will give it a try.

  2. I’m a 4th year student and I’ve never been there…

  3. You aren’t missing much.

  4. Josh Bott // February 8, 2011 at 6:49 pm //

    Genius! And Megan, you know that’s a lie.

  5. My apologies. You are missing the glory of a food hangover, the perfect way of forgetting the fact that you drank the night before.

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