Daily Archives: September 21, 2010

More Greens, More Lean

I’m going to take some liberties here and introduce myself a bit in both the blogs I’ll be writing weekly. I’m Matt, a senior sociology major who is thinking this might be his final year before the real world. I’m going to be writing on my cooking escapades and my attempts to create a bucket list for myself this year. Both should be full of my own failures, which I guarantee will be entertaining. If not I promise to refund you the entire two minutes of your time you wasted reading. Alternatively, you could read faster.

Cooking your own food, something I’ve begin doing, has its ups and downs. The ups all tend to be my food preparation successes and the downs are how depressing my society is. I’ve recently learned two things: People get fat because vegetables cost too much and take time to prepare and people are dumb because they have no idea what they’re eating. I mean, it makes sense why veggies cost so much. Getting grown foods from farms to stores while maintaining them has to be expensive. But in a society where selection is a given, you’d think people would simply look for cheaper vegetables. Nope. Time is of the essence and why pay more for something that is more work to eat? People go grab TV dinners and homogenized products that make up for their miniscule nutritional value by coming with brownies and chips as sides. So far cooking a legitimate meal, complete with freshly chopped onions, tomatoes, broccoli and other greens has made me feel so responsible and healthy. Original ingredients taste better, they’re healthier, and you know what they are. That’s my second point. You want to tell me you know everything a frozen bag of stir fry comes with? Or how long that bag has been sealed? Better to fry a dish made up of your own ingredients, tailored to your tastes and made by your hand. Your stomach will thank you, your heart will thank you, and you’ll be proud of yourself. Know what your own diet is and how to prepare it. That’s a real success, even if it does take extra effort.

Matt Olson
Matt Olson can be reached at linfieldreviewopinion@gmail.com.

Onions’n’Things

I think as a general rule, a good cook should never be limited by a lack of funds. Creativity adds to the fun and so I naturally keep attempting to make up new and exciting dishes, hoping they’ll turn into something delicious that I can produce on a large budget. Having largely failed, I’ve recently discovered the one ingredient that makes me feel awesome repeatedly: onions.

Cheap, simple, and very enjoyable. Apparently describing onions is the opposite of describing prom.

You can pretty much add onions to anything. Fry em up or throw em in with whatever meat you have. All they do is add taste, which is never a bad a thing (note: apologies to any good cooks. I can only go up). I’ve probably put onions in about 20 dishes in the last 3 weeks; I’d recommend against adding them to beverages.

Of course, onions come with a terrible, terrible downside. When you cut them up you begin to develop large amounts of water in your eyes. Some call it crying, but that seems to be too mild a word. Balling seems much more appropriate. And with the tears comes every annoying joke from every stupid friend you have who thinks they’re clever and original. Apparently I have a lot of stupid friends.

Goodness it’s amazing. Every joke about you being an emotional train wreck is repeated over and over, all while you prepare dinner for a group of said idiots. It’s worse than bad puns. How can a vegetable so amazing cause so much annoyance at the same time? It’s not even fair. Forced crying should occur while cutting a crappy food nobody enjoys, like asparagus or okra. I suppose I could get less annoying friends too. At this point eating onions is prioritized above my friends anyway.

Seriously, put onions in everything. You can’t lose!*

*I lied. Onions and Butterscotch do NOT mix.

Matt Olson
Matt Olson can be reached at linfieldreviewopinion@gmail.com.

Needs More Fun, Less Stupid

I’m going to take some liberties here and introduce myself a bit in both the blogs I’ll be writing weekly. I’m Matt, a senior sociology major who is thinking this might be his final year before the real world. I’m going to be writing on my cooking escapades and my attempts to create a bucket list for myself this year. Both should be full of my own failures, which I guarantee will be entertaining. If not I promise to refund you the entire two minutes of your time you wasted reading. Alternatively, you could read faster.

I think creating a bucket list is a lot like attempting to ask a girl out. You have a rough outline of a plan, you know there a set of things nearly everybody does and doesn’t do, but you try to personalize it as best you can. Once you go for it, you find you’ve forgotten everything you’d planned and wind up spewing random thoughts and ideas, hoping everyone understands what you mean. Both are inherently about you but can’t continue without approval from an outside source. Seriously, you can’t write a bucket lists without bouncing ideas off your friends until they get tired of you.

Well I’m going to start a Linfield bucket list, which means this semester will be chock full of exciting and fun things to brag about. Or maybe not. I’m not advocating nor will I be attempting to do anything illegal or very dangerous too stupid. I think a good first step is to establish what type of bucket list it will be, and it most certainly will not be a daredevil’s guide to Linfield. It should be a fun, mostly safe guide to doing things at Linfield people wish they had done. Fun things, cool things, generally awkward things. I have always, for example, wanted to get into the bell tower in Pio. I’ve wanted to swim in the Walker fountain at night, and sneak into Ice and play the organ. I’d like to spend a night in the library and participate in a flash mob in a classroom. These things are not so bad as they are fun, random, and slightly edgy. Creating this might just make each week a little better and my Linfield education a little fuller.

Matt Olson
Columnist Matt Olson can be reached at linfieldreviewopinion@gmail.com.

Bucket O’fun

It seems like my entire bucket list is full of really stupid things that will get me in jail for awhile. My roommate and I, for example, have always wanted to break into Northup Hall. He suggested I added this to the list and we could go in there before they complete it in the spring. Considering how strict this college is about climbing trees, I’d be willing to bet we’d get in a ton of trouble if we got caught. Like fines and jail. Or even worse, not graduating (trust me, it’s worse. Loans loans loans).

And so, it seems to me that I should eliminate all of the really dumb illegal things on my list. Well, maybe not all. But it might be smart to look at consequences while re-evaluating the lists. After doing so, I’ve decided I am addicted to really dumb things. Yes, streaking into Dillin would be awesome. And no, it should never be done.

What should be done are fun exciting things that I wouldn’t have done otherwise or didn’t get a chance to do while here at Linfield. Like the infamous Indiana Jones runs in the library. Everyone should have the opportunity to do this with their friends before they graduate, and it certainly won’t get anyone arrested. Or participating in a Cat Cab, swimming in the people fountain, and watching TV in ICE (yeah, you can do that). These things are adding diversity to an otherwise boring semester. This should be the type of list I should be writing. Well… maybe I’ll just focus on having fun. And nothing is more fun than running around in the rain stomping puddles on a Wednesday afternoon or mudsliding in the IM field. This semester will be amazing.

Matt Olson
Columnist Matt Olson can be reached at linfieldreviewopinion@gmail.com.