Coming to college with a relationship and making it work long distance can be worthwhile, tricky, difficult, stressful and, sometimes, even successful. The first year in school can be a test of your long-distance
relationship’s will to survive.
As new students gathered on campus at the beginning of the school year, unpacking their things or meeting new people down the hall, meeting new friends of the same sex was not the only thing on people’s minds. Let’s face it: Most of us have stalked fellow peers’ Facebooks to see if their statuses read “single” or “taken.”
College is about new experiences both in and out of the classroom. It’s about soaking in the diversity that surrounds us each day, from the post office to Potter Hall.
The majority of us come from the West Coast, some from across the world. But coming to school with a relationship can damage a college experience.
So while your roommate is out with his or her friends or making new ones, are you in your residence hall Skyping with your lover? Or home visiting them for the fifth time since the school year started? Some say coming to school with a long-distance relationship can work; others disagree. So what makes a relationship last when you’re miles apart?
Before deciding that it is the best idea to stay together, there are many questions.
Is your relationship strong enough to stand the test of time and distance?
Constant bickering and trust issues may prove otherwise. But if so, it might be worth a shot.
How long is the relationship going to be long-distance? Will it be two years, four years or maybe longer?
Nothing goes according to plan. Years of advanced planning can be stressful, especially if the plans blow right off the track.
Is the relationship going to hold you back?
This question deals with having a real college experience. Are you missing out? When you graduate, regrets should be reflected on last.
Are you the type to have a long-distance relationship?
They can be worth it, but communication is key. If you don’t have the ability to keep constant communication, all hell may just break loose.
How do plan to see each other?
The thought of visiting every other month or longer make some couples queasy. Otherwise, the relationship could be a fulfilled success.
For the lucky ones, such as junior Amber Ball, their partners attend Linfield with them. Ball said that they have been dating since they attended high school in Eugene, Ore.
“If we didn’t go to the same school, it would have worked out, but it would have been a lot harder,” she said. “Not nagging, but keeping steady communication could make a long-distance relationship work.”
Depending on your relationship, the other person’s flaws may surface after spending a little time together since you’ve been apart. Jealousy is a daunting issue, especially because you will meet so many new people when
coming to college. Not only does it make it harder to resolve arguments, but worrying about the other person finding a new mate is also traumatic.
Not only do college students suffer from lack of sleep, intimidating tests, ongoing essays and the longest weeks they may have ever had, but piling a relationship on top of that can be a catastrophe.
But if you survive a long-distance relationship while at college, you may just deserve a trophy.
When junior Matt Moss arrived at Linfield, he was involved in a relationship, but it ended after four years.
“As soon as I came to school, it got really tough,” he said. “I tried not to go home every weekend because I wasn’t going to let it make school harder for me. It eventually wore us down.”
Moss now has an on-campus relationship with junior Amanda Franke, which has lasted for seven months.
We all know that a lot of effort goes into relationships. Many can keep them during school, but some can’t. Having a long-distance relationship requires more maintenance than some expect, but in the end, everything happens for a reason, right?
Features edtior Lauren Ostrom can be reached at linfieldreviewfeatures.com