Spending time together: He Says, She Says
If your significant other gets too busy, make her want to spend time with you.
The subject of time spent together is very touchy in any relationship. Depending on the two people involved, it can vary intensely. What is enough quality time for one partner may not be enough for the other.
Usually I am not the one complaining my girlfriend doesn’t spend enough time with me. Usually, it is a girl who is crying to me, honestly weeping, saying, “You spend all your time drinking alone in the dark, and you never talk to me anymore” or “You go out and say you’re going fishing with the guys, but I know you’re going to the dogfights because you don’t love me.”
And it’s usually true. I am incapable of love.
But sometimes, rarely, my girlfriends somehow “slip away” from me. Every time I propose we meet up to make out or whatever, she says she’s unavailable.
“I’m too busy,” she’ll say. Or, “I don’t want to see you anymore.” Or, “I’m busy with my boyfriend tonight.” Or, “How did you get this number?” Or, “You’re scaring me.”
I completely snap. You know your buddy He Says is usually a rational, opportunistic lady-killer. But when your girlfriend gets “too busy” for you, there is only one thing to do. Force yourself into her life.
Show up at her house or dorm at hours you know she will be there. Bring flowers or a puppy, something to remind her she loves you and wants to spend all her time with you.
Follow her around. Make it obvious. Don’t be afraid she’ll see you. You don’t want to look creepy, just involved.
Start dating her friends. When she calls you out on it, just tell her “WELL I THOUGHT WE WERE BROKEN UP BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE ME, SO I FIGURED I’D TRY TO SLEEP WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND LIKE I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO!”
Also, sleep with her best friend like you’ve always wanted to.
Sometimes, it’s just not enough. This beautiful girl stopped seeing me altogether, just kept telling me she was too busy working at the shelter or taking care of her unbelievably sick brother. That hacking, shaking tubercular freak was the thorn in my side for many months.
Anyway, long story short, I got extensive surgery on my face, dyed my hair, put on some weight and completely started over by courting her again, this time as “Dr. LelandL. Love.”
It didn’t go well. The fresh scarring on my face combined with therampant alcohol anddogfighting habits were a dead giveaway. Also, I kept accidentally answering to my old name.
I’m just saying, if she’s too busy for you, she might not be too busy for some other guy. Be that other guy.
Sometimes being busy is good.
So you feel your significant other is too busy for you? Oh, dear. Honestly, that’s a sucky situation, but before we get into the solution, you should ask yourself what you think “too busy” is.
I’ve found this definition varies widely between individuals. I’ve known girls who see their guys once a week and are happy with it. I’ve known guys who flip out if their lady goes out on an occasional Friday night.
If you only get to see your sweetheart a couple of days a week, then yeah, he is pretty busy. If he has to occasionally blow you off to get an assignment done? Oh, no! The unimaginable travesty: that he puts his future before hanging out and watching “Family Guy” with you!
Yeah. Deal with it.
The truth is I don’t have a great amount of patience for this issue. A relationship is give and take, and yes, your significant other has an obligation to make time for you, but you also have an obligation to be patient and supportive.
Your sweetheart wants to spend time with you. That’s why you’re in a relationship with each other. Most people will tell you they would much rather make out with their boyfriend/girlfriend than sit around with their friends or do school work. So why be jealous of the time your partner has to spend away from you?
It only really becomes a problem when your special somebody stops trying to have time for you. It’s one thing entirely if they can’t spend every moment with you, but they do what they can. If every time you call, they’re “busy,” and they never call you back, then maybe it’s about time you have a little conversation.
But that’s obvious, and if you were really looking to me for romantic advice, you have bigger issues than an absentee lover.
Excuse me if I sound somewhat jaded this week. Like I said, when it comes to the issue of who’s busier than whom in relationships, my eyes start rolling. I honestly see it as another way for people to blame each other for deeper problems in their relationships, or as a petty way for people to express disappointment. In either case, the best thing you can do is talk to your significant other. There isn’t any magic technique or quick-fix cure for the situation.
Unless you want to show up in their room in underwear with a smile.
That ought to attract their attention for alittle while.